This may be your first holiday season without loved ones you have lost in the past year. It can be overwhelming, hard and unbelievably painful.

Aultman Chaplain Joseph Kampert offers the following hints to help you through the holidays.

Trust that grief is part of healing. Time doesn't heal the pain associated with a loss; it's what you do with that time that matters. Grief is the process by which you heal.

Experiencing the pain – rather than constantly trying to escape it – can help you feel better in the long term. Eventually, the holidays will get easier, but only if you allow yourself to experience the grief of going through them without your loved one.

Set healthy boundaries. You don't have to force yourself to face every holiday event or celebrate traditionally. If attending a tree lighting ceremony or participating in a gift swap is likely to bring about too many painful memories this year, be willing to say no.

Focus on what you can control. You may be subjected to Christmas music in the waiting room of your doctor's office, or you may overhear your co-workers constantly talking about their holiday plans. While you can't prevent those things from happening, there are some things you can control.

Think about what you can do to lessen the heartache. It's OK to limit your decorations or shop for presents online only. Pick a few things you can do to assert some control over the holiday cheer, and keep in mind that life goes on for other people and it's OK that they're happy to celebrate this year.

Plan ahead. Often, the anticipation over how hard something will be is worse than the actual event. Create a simple plan for how you'll get through the holidays to avoid extending your anguish.

It’s helpful to create an escape plan. Drive yourself to holiday functions or ride with a trusted friend who will take you home whenever you want. Just knowing you can easily leave at any time can help you enjoy the activity much more than you would if you felt stuck.

Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions. The holidays can bring about a wide range of emotions. You might feel joy, guilt and sadness all within a few minutes. Allow yourself to feel those emotions without judging yourself or thinking you should be happy or you shouldn't be laughing. Do not even think about how others may look at you or may be judging you for wearing a smile or for enjoying a moment.

Find a way to honor your memories. Create a special way to memorialize the person you've lost. Whether you decide to light a candle every night or eat your loved one's favorite food, honoring your loved one can serve as a tangible reminder that although your loved one is gone, the love never dies.

Create some new traditions. Don't be afraid to create new traditions this year, too. It's OK to get creative and do something a little out of the ordinary. You can also alter old traditions and make them fit better with the new phase in your life.

Do something kind for others. Even when you're in the midst of grief, you still have something to offer your community. Performing a few acts of kindness can be good for a grieving person's spirit. Donate gifts to families in need. Volunteer somewhere like a soup kitchen, hospital, nursing home or your church.

Reach out for help. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you're struggling with the holidays. Reminding loved ones that you're having a rough time may be enough, but you also may want to reach out for more support. Look for support groups or contact a professional counselor to help you deal with your grief. Asking for help is better than choosing not to deal with it.

Hold on to your faith. Keep attending your place of worship. If you find it hard to attend the same place of worship that you and your loved one have for years, choose another one. Above all, keep the faith.

For more information and resources including support groups, visit the Aultman Grief Services page.